I always get a kick out of these...

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

When you play poker with 7 guys you've never played with before, it behooves you to be patient: it's important to get familiar with everyone's mannerisms and tendencies, while making aggressive moves only when you have the cards to back them up. Then as time goes on and you learn how people play, you can play a little looser and assert yourself. I did not do that tonight. I have been used to playing with 2 or 3 other players, not 7. The cards you can play in a 4-person game are a lot crappier than the ones you can play with 8 people. I was going in with 6-5 off-suit. Then I kept losing cause everyone had better cards. So I got frustrated and bet with even worse cards. Needless to say I was one of the first people out of the game. So I decided to make my first blog post since February 16th. I'm unstoppable.